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He
couldn’t remember much of his childhood, but then, when you’ve lived for as
long as he had, he reasoned that such things couldn’t be helped.
He still
remembered flashes of his youth—sunlit summer afternoons beneath the trees, the
smell of the sun-warmed grass and the sound of the wind whispering through the
grass. He still remembered the sound of the warm spring rains he’d been caught
in, in his youth. He still remembered the smell of the freshly-cut hay, and the
way it itched in his clothes as he drove the pitchfork into it, and tossed it.
He
remembered the warmth and the love in her smile, and the vision of her lying
beside him, with hay in her hair and love in her eyes as they held his own.
More
than anything else in his life, he remembered the love he always saw in her
unforgettable eyes.
He
didn’t know there was anything special about him, not then. No, back then he
was just a boy, young, stubborn, perhaps a little arrogant, but young. So very,
very young.
And he
remembered being hopelessly in love with that young girl with love in her eyes
and hay in her hair.
As
they’d grown older, and the years passed, he began to feel it, though he didn’t
realize what it was he was feeling at the time. On the outside, there was
nothing peculiar about him—no sign that set him apart from anyone else.
But he
felt it. Though he kept it quietly to himself, quietly wondering whether he was
going crazy, or letting his imagination get the better of him.
Her hair
grew longer as they grew older together, passing their lives together, and with
each passing day he loved her even more than he had the day before.
And
then, one day, she was gone, and he found himself alone in the world once
again.
And now
that he’d known what life was with her in it, he felt his aloneness much more
keenly now that she was gone.
The rain
was never the same as it fell on him, leaving him with bittersweet memories of
all the times they’d danced and laughed in the rain, and all the kisses they’d
shared beneath it.
As the
years passed, he wondered what he’d done to deserve this—to be left to wander
the world in the wake of everything they’d shared—to continue on in such a way,
knowing he’d never see her again. That he’d never touch her again, never hold her
or hear her musical laughter.
To know
that he’d never again see her beautiful face light up with her smile, or see
the love in her eyes as they held his own.
However
hard he tried as the years passed, he couldn’t bring himself to understand why
he continued to live on without her, or why he seemed to be destined to outlive
anyone and everyone he ever knew.
As the
world around him began to change, at first he was blind to it—too caught up in
his grief to notice it.
His
bones began to ache as he got older, and as the years passed, the cold and the
damp began to sink in when winter came, reminding him of just how many winters
he’d known. And every year, he looked forward to the spring more and more.
But not
the summers. Oh no. Summertime always reminded him of her. When the air grew
hot and wavered in the heat, he would always remember the summers they passed
together when they were young.
Try as
he might, though he couldn’t look forward to them anymore, he could never quite
bring himself to hate the summers. Not when they were so vibrant with her
memory.
He lived
out his life in a solitary way, becoming mostly a recluse because it was easier
for him to be alone than to become close with people only to lose them as the
years passed, leaving him largely unchanged.
He felt
it as the years passed, though at first, he didn’t realize what it was he was
feeling.
He was
waiting for something, though he didn’t know it. Not then.
Passing
the years, and waiting.
And
hoping that he wouldn’t have to wait for a time when time ceased to exist.
**********
The day
came, ages later, when from across the world, she was born.
He felt
the first beat of her heart as though it were his own. He felt the first breath
she took as though it were his first breath. And as she opened her eyes for the
first time, he closed his own eyes, thanking the heavens that the time had
finally come, that they would walk the earth together as they once had, so very
long ago.
Ages had
come and ages had gone, and in all those centuries, he had awaited her return.
**********
As she
grew older, he felt it in his heart from the other side of the world, feeling
her every dream, her every happiness, every rage and every heartbreak. He felt
her strength grow with each passing day, even as he felt her deepening
loneliness, the very loneliness she’d known so many ages before when she’d
first come to him—a lovely, lonely young woman on his doorstep in the rain, her
eyes longing for someone to know her, to love her and to accept her for who and
what she was, and to never let her be lonely again.
To never
leave her alone again.
As he
felt her draw near to her 30th year, he began to make preparations
to go to her, and to make himself known to her at long last.
It would
not be an easy journey. In all his years, he had seen many miraculous things
come to pass, and yet he had never been able to become used to travel by air,
preferring still to travel by ship, or when possible, by train or car.
Cars, at
least, reminded him of carriages, of buggies. These things were far from new to
him.
Feeling
her heart, her soul reaching out to him from across the great expanse of
distance that now stood between them, he began the long journey that would
bring him to her door.
Finally,
he found himself standing on her doorstep, and lifting his arm with effort, he
knocked, his head hanging as he waited for her to answer the door, his aged
body bent and weary after all his long years, his beard nearly reaching his
waist after so much time gone.
He
lifted his eyes first, then his head as the door opened, and he felt his heart
skip as though it hadn’t aged as he found himself looking into the very eyes he
had long remembered, finding that he hadn’t forgotten the exact shade of blue
that they were.
“Can I help
you?” she asked, her gentle voice breaking the dam behind his heart, and
flooding his mind with thousands of memories of all the times he’d spent with
her, spoken with her and laughed with her in the ages long gone.
“Do
you.. know me?” he asked in a tired, weary voice that cracked beneath his age,
and the arduous journey he’d just undergone, watching her eyes as he asked it.
She
cocked her head as he spoke, her forehead creasing as though there was
something in his voice that caught her attention, and she looked into his eyes
more closely as he stepped forward into the glow of the porch light, as though
searching for something as she tried to figure out what it was about him that
seemed so familiar.
“I have
lived through all the ages of this world… waiting for you to return to me,” he
said, looking into her blue eyes.
Looking
up into his bright, crystal clear cerulean blue eyes, the young woman felt
something inside her pulling her to him, even as it nagged at her.
Suddenly,
as she searched his eyes, she found it, hidden there, deep within his clear
blue eyes.
A
sparkle, a glint that not even his advanced age had taken away from him.
It was
as though the last missing puzzle pieces were falling into place as it came to
her.
“Nathaniel,”
she breathed with a suddenly bright smile, searching his eyes for any form of
recognition there as tears made her eyes glisten.
To her
surprise, a bright smile crossed his aging lips as he heard his name fall from
her lips, and it twinkled in his ageless eyes.
“I
thought you were a fantasy,” she whispered, tears in her voice as their eyes
held, “A dream I had—“ she continued, lifting her hand to press her fingertips
to her lips as she fought tears at the thought that he was standing before her.
“Was I
old, in this dream of yours?” he asked her.
“No,”
she said, her forehead creasing at the memory as her voice cracked beneath the
weight of such strong emotion, “You were young. So very young. And so was I.”
“Have
you been here?” she asked him, searching his eyes curiously from so close, “All
this time?”
“Yes,”
he said, his voice tired as he watched her eyes.
“All
these years?” she creased her forehead at the idea.
“Yes,”
he allowed.
“Did you
know I was here?” she asked him, her voice hushed.
“Yes,”
he allowed, watching her eyes.
“Why
didn’t you come to me--?” she broke off, her eyes pained and wondering at the
thought as she regarded him.
“I had
to wait until you were ready to see me,” he offered, and as he offered her his
quietly shy and awkward smile, the one she’d long remembered, suddenly she saw
the younger version of him standing before her in her mind’s eye. “It wasn’t an
easy feat, Rachel,” he said, searching her eyes, “The last 30 years have been
the longest of my life.”
“31,”
she teased with a quietly playful smile, making him laugh despite himself,
making her heart flutter to see the same sparkle in his eyes that she’d long
remembered.
“I can’t
believe you remembered me, after all this time,” she shook her head gently,
incredulous, her eyes glistening with tears at the thought.
“My
fondest memories in my life are of you, and the time we had together,” he said
quietly, a warm smile crossing his lips.
“So are
mine,” she said, smiling though her eyes were wet.
“Are you
alright?” he asked her, seeing the tears in her eyes as she regarded him
beneath the glow of the porch light.
“I never
thought I’d see you like this,” she whispered, and he heard her voice crack
through her tears, “Everyone was telling me you were just a dream I had—“ her
breathing hitched at the thought, “That you were never real—“
She
stopped as he stepped forward again, lifting her eyes to meet his level gaze.
“You
were never a dream, were you?” she asked him, her forehead creasing as their
eyes held.
“There
were times throughout the course of my life that I thought that’s what you
were,” he offered, lifting his hand to her, and, moving her eyes to his hand,
Rachel felt her heart flutter as she realized his hand was trembling slightly
as he reached for her. “A dream I had,” he continued, brushing the backs of his
fingertips whisperingly across her cheek before he withdrew them, as though
suddenly realizing he’d reached for her in the first place. “Then, at long
last, I felt your heart beat for the first time,” he allowed as his hand fell
to his side again, a smile crossing his aged lips and the sparkle returning to
his blue eyes as their eyes held, “I felt you take your first breath, and in
that moment, I knew what it was I’d been waiting for all these years,” he broke
off, and her heart fluttered as she saw the quiet hope in his beautiful eyes,
making her swallow hard.
“And
what was that?” she managed to ask him, not sure she even breathed as she
searched his eyes with her own.
“I’ve
waited all the ages of this world for the chance to look into your eyes again,”
he allowed, giving her a gentle smile as he held her gaze, “To have you look
into mine again.”
“Why?”
she asked, her eyes pained and wondering at the thought as she searched his
eyes. “Why would you wait for me, all this time?” she asked, her voice barely
above a whisper in the wake of all of his thoughtful words.
“You
were my heart, Rachel,” he offered with the same smile, searching her eyes, “My
soul. You always were.”
“And you
were mine,” she returned, and he saw a tear spill down over her cheek suddenly
as their eyes held.
“Will
you come with me?” he asked her, searching her eyes.
“Yes,”
she answered with a soft smile.
“I
didn’t tell you where we’re going,” he laughed softly, his eyes amused at the
thought.
She
smiled simply.
“You’ve
waited all this time for me,” she said, searching his gaze, her smile all
warmth, and the love he’d long remembered, “I’d follow you anywhere.”
********************
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